


Maybe Someday, But Not Today

by fullmoonrisin



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoonrisin/pseuds/fullmoonrisin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The machine chooses one of the discarded options from 4x11 and Shaw is forced into a race against time to save the team. Came from a tumblr discussion on "the talk" between Root and Shaw in the episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Someday, But Not Today

"Root?"

As the sounds of gunfire faded in her ear, she knew it was futile. Somewhere inside herself she knew she would get no response. Still, she found her mouth forming the hacker's name almost of its own volition and an unearthly brand of silence settled down in the space around her as the last shots faded away. The silence wrapped itself around her like a cloak against cold air and squeezed at her chest until she felt short of breath as she worked furiously to free her cuffed hands.

She knew.

She absolutely refused to believe her ears—it wasn't real until she could see a body. She knew, though, that she had to get to the Stock Exchange somehow. It would be all too real if she didn't.

With a final twist of her hands, the cuffs were left in the back seat of the squad car as she carefully climbed out when no one was looking. She looked around once again to make sure she was in the clear before she opened the passenger door and grabbed the Mossberg as well as a spare 9mm from the glove box.

She powerwalked her way down the street as frustration settled in. She needed a vehicle if she was gonna get anywhere fast enough, but she was too close to the cops.

"John?"

No answer.

"John, what's your status?"

Again, silence met her ears and seeped into her very bones. Was she too late?

"Lionel?" She tried next, making her way up the street, eyeing a nearby parked car as she went. To her relief, she got an answer.

"What do ya want? I'm a little busy here." Again, she could here gunfire in the background and her heart raced inexplicably at the sound of it. Every fiber in her body compelled her to get to the NYSE and the weight in her chest became heavier at the thought of what would happen if she didn't. It was clear that their situation was grave.

"Where's Reese?" She wondered, finally speeding off toward her destination in her newly acquired vehicle. There was a moment of relative silence on the other end and Shaw could almost sense Fusco's hesitation, if that's what it was. Perhaps he was just looking for the right words, but Lionel was always blunt. Any other time she would appreciate that about him.

"He's dead, Sameen." His solemn tone struck her more than the news itself and she responded by pressing the gas a little harder. "Coco Puffs too."

Shaw knew it was coming, but she was still forced to steel herself against the news and her eyes fell shut under the weight of it. There was an odd painful twinge somewhere in her chest that was almost like something inside her had snapped, like she had broken away from some sort of tether and was now left adrift in an endless dark chasm. She didn't like the feeling one bit.

"I'm coming to you, Lionel." Her voice was firm, but it didn't quite sound like her. She focused on the gunfire in her ear and imagined just what she would do to Samaritan's operatives. Anything to focus on the anger that was always so familiar, so safe, and rid herself of this foreign new feeling taking up residence inside of her.

"Yeah…Sameen. Don't do that."

"What? Why?"

"Just listen, will ya?" Fusco grumbled and Shaw could vaguely hear him slam another clip into his gun. "I'm about to run outta ammo and you won't make it in time."

Shaw tried to argue, but Finch cut in, having been silent up to this point. His voice sounded a bit strained as if he was struggling to speak through pain. That could only mean he was wounded.

"I'm afraid Detective Fusco is right, Ms. Shaw. You being here would only add one more body, at this point."

She blinked a few times against the overwhelming feelings as she struggled to process them. She wanted to keep arguing, but even as the arguments formed on her lips, they died a moment later. Her foot pressed down on the brake pedal and she pulled over.

Fusco's voice returned and there was a momentary end to the firing, telling Shaw that he'd fired his last clip and the operatives were waiting for them to surrender.

"Listen up. I'm gonna need one more favor, Shaw."

"What's that?"

"I'll need someone I trust to look in on Lee on occasion. Can you do that?"

Why did he have to pick her? Sure, she saved the kid once, but she didn't even like kids…well except for the Russian immigrant. She wanted to say no. She didn't want to be stuck with that obligation, with that reminder of her failure because that's what this day was. A result of her failure to retrieve the security code. Still, she found that she couldn't deny Lionel that last request.

"Okay, Lionel."

Several minutes later, she made it to the NYSE and the sight that greeted her made anger roil deep in the pit of her stomach. There was a crowd of people gathered around a police barricade and a few Samaritan agents were speaking to the police posing as stock exchange workers. She hung back just far enough in the crowd to avoid detection, but she was still able to get close enough to see four bodies laid out on the sidewalk where they were being tended to by medical examiners. She didn't need to see faces to know them. The glimpses of expensive Italian loafers, short curly hair, a plaid suit, and black nail polish told her everything.

She turned away from the scene in disgust.

This is what she got for caring. She was the only one left; just her and the dog, and for the first time in her life, she found herself wishing for some alternate reality to come take her away.She headed back for the subway with a numbness in her heart different from the one she had been accustomed to all of her life. It was there, hours later, that Shaw shed tears for the first time that she could remember in the company of Bear. In the company of Bear, the lingering ghosts of her recently fallen comrades, and one bitter "maybe someday."   
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There you have it folks! Please R & R. Also, you can follow me on tumblr schaddenfreude


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